Five Minutes to Cuter T-Shirts
When my mom caught fifth-grade-me for the 500th time in a too-short denim miniskirt that I’d been repeatedly warned me not to wear at school, she wasted zero minutes before she took a pair of scissors to it, cutting it into ribbons like that thing at the car wash that soaps up your vehicle, thereby rendering it unwearable.
Or so she thought.
I was sad about it for 10 seconds until I realized it actually looked kind of interesting and started wearing it like that with bike shorts underneath. Since she had thoughtfully left the waistband attached to the skirt, it flounced around like super cute fringe when I walked.
After this great episode in child rearing, my mom decided to just give up policing my wardrobe—and bought me my very own pair of proper fabric shears. (You gotta love a lady who knows she’s been bested.) I don’t cut my skirts up anymore, but I do constantly cut up T-shirts for my myself, my closest pals, and all those actors on the TV shows I design.
Five minutes and a stunningly sharp pair of scissors is all you need to chop your own T-shirts up like a pro. I’m talking scissors that can kill—because the sharper the scissor, the better the chop. And for my money, nobody makes a better pair of scissors than Gingher. I still use the ones my momma gave me all those years ago.
Fish Gills
I usually cut fish gills in a shirt when it’s a little too small. It can buy you a half inch or so all over the shirt — and as Victoria Beckham knows, sometimes an extra half inch makes all the difference.)
Lay the shirt flat on a table and cut small slits on each side of the shirt, starting about 2" below the armpit and stopping around the bottom of your ribcage. Once I cut one side, I usually find some sort of straight edge device to make sure it’s remotely even on both sides. If your shirt is really tight, you can add fish gills down the back to relax the fit even further.
Party Vents
Party vents are so named because they allow you to eat to your heart’s content at a shindig and not worry about your dumb T-shirt getting too tight around the middle. (This is also a good trick for preggo ladies to be able to wear T-shirts they may already own. Just slit straight up the side seams and you’re done! (Tank top underneath optional.)
Halter Tee
This works best with a very fitted T-shirt. Start by putting on the shirt and marking (with pins, chalk, or tape) where you’d like the shirt to hit your side boob. Then lay the shirt flat and chop just inside the pins at an angle straight up to the edge of the collar. (Don’t cut into the collar, as you need it for the shirt to stay up.)
After you cut off one sleeve, I find it useful to flip that sleeve over and use it as a cutting guide for the opposite sleeve. And a word of pro shirt-chopping advice: Cut a little less than you think is right the first time — you can always cut more, but you can’t go back in time and cut less.
Classic Sleeveless
This works best with any T-shirt that hangs a little loosely on your body. Start by cutting the neck out right below the seam. It opens the neck up more than you realize, so don’t cut too low. Next, start right at the armpit and cut up towards the shoulder, almost in a smiley face shape.
The goal is to not aim your cut too close to the neck — you are trying to leave a sort of wide tank style strap to balance out the rest of the shirt’s proportions.
Open-Side Muscle
Slouchy, open-side T-shirts are a trend that doesn’t appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. But why overpay for someone else’s scissor work?
Start about 6" up from the bottom hem of the shirt. Cut upwards at a very slight angle, making sure to leave a wide ‘muscle tee’ width of shirt at the shoulder. (Since this style of T-shirt is so bare on the sides, you need the width to even out the proportions.) Pop on your favorite bra that’s meant for show and hit the road.
Flashdance
Here’s a circa 2016 version of Jennifer Beals’ off the shoulder sweatshirt in Flashdance that you can easily wear a bra with.
First, cut the neck out right below the collar. Then, cut a rounded triangle or half moon shape out of each shoulder, with the sleeve seam squarely in the middle. I find it useful to find some household object, such as the safety pin you see above, as a measuring device when I go to chop the other side. Again — using the piece you already cut out as a guide ensures that both sides are perfectly even.
And so concludes the easiest ‘How To’ post you’ll likely ever read.
I am the author of ‘How to Get Dressed: A Costume Designer’s Secrets for Making Your Clothes Look, Fit, and Feel Amazing’.
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